Saturday Night Live

So, I bet you thought I peaked in high school… I mean, I did too but apparently not!! I am honestly leading the best life right now, hopefully as I grow older I continue on this uphill journey and never hit my peak. But with my luck, I’ll meet my demise soon enough. Until then, I shall fuck shit up and continue to do whatever the hell it is that I’m doing so I can keep up with the insane adventures I am taking this year.

As I am sure most of you are familiar with, I won Most Likely To Be On Saturday Night Live in high school, hard evidence pointing to that whole “peaked in high school” theory. Anyways, technically, this superlative came true!! I am sure not in the sense it was meant to be, but, nonetheless, technicalities rule today!! If you watch episode 15, season 42, of SNL you will see myself and Emma Lynch in the audience at one point of the monologue. (if you, you know, pause it at just the right moment and squint really hard. lol) So, take that Braintree High!!! I am just what you wanted me to be! If you’re one of those jerks who is going to take this away from me, take pity on me for just this one moment. And also, let’s face it, I am not funny or charming enough for fame, so just let me have this.

Okay, now what this post is really all about; my time at SNL. Let me tell you, it was the best night of my life. And I am at the ripe age of only 18, have travelled to London, lived in a different state for a year of my life, been to countless concerts, festivals and so on and so forth, but nothing has or ever will top this night. Not even my wedding night, sorry whoever my future spouse will be. You are nothing compared to this night.

So, as I am sure most of you know, you cannot purchase tickets to SNL, you either camp outside a show and have them given to you or you email them at the beginning of a season in hopes of winning tickets. Me being the annoying human I am, I have just been constantly annoying the people at SNL via email begging for tickets. And this annoying quality in me has finally paid off!! Apparently, I sent an email at the same time as a contest and my email, of five paragraphs explaining why I should be given tickets to go to the show, fit the rules of the contest! And I WON TICKETS!!!! (I didn’t know of this contest until after Emma and I arrived to pick up our tickets, and we were both so shocked, so we just went along with the other contest winners like we knew wtf was going on.)

I found out only a week before the show that I had tickets so I didn’t have time or the money to plan a huge weekend excursion. However, since I invited my dear friend Emma along, and had invited that same gal to London, her parents decided to rent us a hotel for the night we’d be in and we got to make a little weekend of it! So it was pretty fucking tight. We stayed at, I believe, the Hyatt which was less then a 10 minute walk from Rockefeller Center. We drove in to the city, and by we I mean me because Emma is not licensed. It took us like 4 hours there and back, but it wasn’t that bad. Peggy, Emma’s mom, made us little lunches for the drive there. What was supposed to be an overcomplicated sandwich, comprised of turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato and honey mustard and had to be grilled, at the request of the ever picky Emma became a simple turkey and mustard sandwich. Peggy really posted up for that sandwich. We got to skate at Rockefeller center, which is horribly over priced, but definitely something I’d be douchey enough to pay for again. (Again, I say we skated but really only I skated and Emma just tried to move without ever lifting her feet to prevent herself from slipping) ┬áThen we went to eat dinner, and sadly we went to a place that was featured on The Apprentice, and they were proud of it and advertising it!!!, but we pretended we didn’t see that.) We hung out in that area for a few hours and walked around but then headed back to our hotel room to ready ourselves for the night.

We had to arrive for the show at 10:00, but the show didn’t start till 11:30, which you all know, lol. We weren’t allowed to have phones out or take any pictures sadly, so I have no pictures to show for my time there. But it’s okay because I at least will have memories of it. Until I develop dementia in my old age like every relative of mine, but alas, a problem for another day! We hung out in a big room waiting to be brought upstairs to be seated, and whilst we were there these two girls who were sitting directly across from us got pulled aside for what we expected to be moved to better seats. And just as we called it, we saw the two girls sitting in the audience right in front of the stage!!! I was pissed. If only Emma and I were prettier and had more potential to be wanted on tv. That could’ve been us. As we waited in a hallway, where all pictures of the cast, hosts and special guests line the walls, Melissa Villasenor and Mikey Day walked right in front of us and said hello!!! So, yeah, I could die a happy gal. We still had great seats, we were sitting front row of the balcony, just shy of being dead center. And oddly enough, two rows behind us were the Property Brothers (who are uglier in real life), Paul Feig, and Timothy Simmons (Jonah from the show Veep). Which was wild!!! Also, we later learned that Steph Curry, who is Emma’s dream man, was also at the show, but we didn’t see him. But I like to think I can still use that information to brag.

Right before the show started, Keenan Thompson, Vanessa Bayer, Sasheer Zamata and Cecily Strong all came out and sang a song. Which still confuses me, but I fucking loved to see it. Michael Che also came out before the start of the show and went over how the show would work and such and cracked a few jokes, which was insanely surreal. But finally, what you’re reading this post for, the show started!!! (I wont go into too much detail as you could just watch the episode to see what happens but I’ll give you the rundown from my perspective) Everything moved by so quickly. One second I am watching Kate McKinnon as Jeff Sessions and Octavia Spencer reprising her role from the Help in the cold open and then the introduction is starting and the cast members are announced. It was all too surreal for me to comprehend. There are tv screens everywhere in case you’re missing a sketch because of a bad view point, and also those little applause sings flash so you know when it is appropriate to clap and when it is probably not. Everything moves so quickly, the cast is running around between every sketch and the sets are taken down within seconds and built back up in a mind-blowing amount of time. Each sketch was so funny, but I couldn’t tell if I was laughing more out of hysterics or because it was genuinely that funny, but who cares. In between commercial breaks it is absolute chaos on the set and the band plays to keep the crowd entertained. But honestly, I would’ve been just as entertained watching the madness. At the same time however, I must give huge props to the band as they are clearly the backbone of the show. Without them, I don’t know if things would be so smooth, they really keep it all together. Weekend Update was hilarious and insane for me to see. And by far the funniest part of the show was Vanessa Bayer reprising her character of being a kid reporting the news.Seriously, you have to watch it. We got to see the cast members break character and laugh in a sketch, which has been a lifelong DREAM of mine to see in person. It’s the last sketch with Tommy or Jackie Chocolate or something like that, lol. There were times where Emma and I could not get out laughter under control and anytime you hear the audience laughing a little too long after a joke it was partially because of myself and Emma. We got to see Melissa Villasenor do her Owen Wilson impression, which was honestly on my bucket list ever since I saw her do it on vine long before she was cast on SNL. It was the fucking coolest.

My favorite part of the show was by far the end when the entire cast stands on the center stage and they all hug. I cried a little watching it, it’s always so heartwarming and I just love it so much. After the show we saw the cast leave, but were too pussy to ask for an autograph, which will die with me as my biggest regret. But all in all, it was the greatest night of my life. I will never stop trying to see another show though, so fingers crossed I get to go again soon!!

I don’t know if this year will continue to be as eventful for me as it has been in these short three months, but I hope so. Hopefully I satisfied your SNL questions, and I hope you’re the tiniest bit jealous, lol. Till next time.

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