Greatest Time of Year…

AWARD SHOW SEAON!!! God, there is just no time like this time of year. I mean we have the Golden Globes, the Oscars, the SAG awards, Critics Choice and the Emmy’s (which is admittedly earlier in the year however it still gets grouped here, okay?!) And top all of those off my soulmate/eldest sister Rianna got hitched last weekend, so, life is pretty good for me right now. Where do I even begin on this post? I mean it’s just me reflecting on what is singlehandedly the greatest couple of weeks of my life, so it’s not like there is a wrong place to start but my mind is just bombarded with ideas. (Ideas of which I am certain you won’t care about but I want you to hear anyways!)

I suppose I’ll start with the wedding, as it’s probably the only part of this post you may be slightly intrigued by. So, we all know, or at least I assume we all know, Rianna. My favorite sister, kidding. (Not really) And most of us who know her know Nick, her lover of 12 years. I am pretty sure I made a post when they got engaged last January, so we’ve been kind of following their relationship as these past few months progressed. And after many debates and family discussions they decided to push the wedding up early and have a very small and intimate ceremony with family and close friends only on this past Sunday, January 7th. (I’m realizing as I just described the ceremony as small and intimate they probably did it for privacy reasons, as the two of them are very keep to themselves kind of people, so they definitely do not want a detailed recap of it online. So it’s a good thing nobody in my family cares enough to actually read this thing!!) I’m trying to share major plot points so as to not sit here for hours and hours giving a minute by minute account of what transpired on their wedding day. So I guess I’ll start where things got interesting. As the bridesmaids and bride boarded the limo at around 10:30 am and headed to the Venezia for the ceremony we decided to pop the champagne we had in the limo. And, being the dickhead I am, I decided to pop it and then sip it right from the bottle. If you can sense potential disaster in that statement you are psychic! I proceeded to spill a significant amount of champagne onto my dress that I would be wearing for the ceremony and for the pictures we had not yet taken. But, by the grace of god (of who/whatever is out there looking over me), a tide to go took the stain out of the front of the dress so I only had a stain on the back of my dress. So we could pretend like I wasn’t trash in the pictures by never showing my backside! Which was probably for the best anyways as I know my butt is not my finest feature. When we arrived and went upstairs to finish readying Rianna for her big day, tears were shed, fights ensued (like any good Shanley outing), and more champagne was drank. Finally it was time for us all to walk out and prepare to wed my favorite people in the entire world. The ceremony was done by a good friend of the family and she absolutely killed it. It was an incredibly touching few minutes filled with love, tears and snots from Michelle, Nick’s sister, standing behind me. When it was time for the wedding party to be introduced Mikey and I naturally decided to put on a show for the crowd, so when our names were called we dramatically danced in and then he somersaulted over me. It had everyone hyped to say the least. When Rianna and Nick walked in they had the largest smiles on their face it just ripped my heart apart. The two of them are so perfect for one another and just complete each other that seeing them experience that kind of joy together overwhelmed me. And I am probably the furthest thing from a romantic but they melt my cold dead heart. Within the few moments after their first dance it was apparently time for the maid and matron of honor as well as the best man to make speeches, which was something I was not prepared for. But after downing a glass of champagne I set out to do my speech. I had the good fortune to go last and close out the speeches, which I was happy to do. Rather than summarize my speech I figured I’d just include it, so here you go!

I’d first like to say that it’s an honor to be here making a speech for both Rianna and Nick, but considering five out of the seven bridesmaids are sisters and the other two have been around just about as long as I have been alive, it’s more of an obligation really. Statistically speaking, it was bound to be a sister chosen for this task and since I’m one of the few with a good grasp of the english language, it was a safe choice in having me represent the thoughts of the group. As I tried to compose some meaningful words for this day we have all waited 12 long years for, it struck me just how much your relationship has survived the times. Because 12 years is a long time. Think of it this way, you guys were together for all 9 seasons of The Office, seen the entire series of Twilight written and made into movies, had the great privilege of being around for both the beginning and end of One Direction, your relationship even outdates the first iPHONE. And to top it all off, during those long twelve years, helped in molding myself, Kelcy, Chris, Paige and Michael into the people we are today. And without the two of you, none of us would have been able to have gone through our premature emo-phase in elementary school. Truthfully I’m finding it difficult to not talk about the two of you together in third person as I so often act as a third-wheel, including myself in anything the two of you do as a couple. However, putting my impoverished ego aside, I can’t help but feel a sense of pride knowing I have the privilege of having the two of you as such prominent figures in my life. Rianna, you are the most beautiful human being I know, and I say that not only because we look alike, but because every day you’re around you emanate nothing but warmth and wisdom. You shine like a light to not only our family but those around us when things are getting harder to stomach. I’m often overwhelmed with the sense of gratitude I have for being able to selfishly keep you close by. And Nick, I speak for the entire clan when I say life without you would feel unfinished, and, without you Mikey would undoubtedly have the fashion sense of a white rapper from the early 2000’s. Your presence has had one of the greatest affects onto who not only I am but who our family is now and for that I feel blessed. This may have been a moment 12 years in the making, but it’s one that will last at least my lifetime. And though he is not here today, I have no doubt Papa is looking down on the two of you with nothing but love and admiration. We all wish nothing but the best as the two of you two do it your way. So I guess this a sort of congratulations to not only the two of you, but to the entireties of both families because I for one, see us all only getting creepily closer and growing more dependent onto one another. I’m sure the honeymoon will be weird without us, but try and have fun. With that said, let’s all raise a glass and toast Rianna and Nick. Cheers.

Michelle had videod my speech, and since I’m a narcissist, it brings me joy rewatching it. I’ll tell you its because it focuses on Rianna and Nick and their reactions during the speech, but truthfully I find myself hilarious so it gives me a good kick to hear myself talk. After speeches we ate and prepared to daaaaannnncccceeeeeeee. My siblings, siblings includes Albert, and I were obviously the first ones on the dance floor but nobody was incredibly shy so the floor filled up pretty quick. My problem is once the dance floor opens up, I can’t leave it. I did not have a single conversation with anyone once we started dancing, and we danced for probably like 3 hours. Straight. At one point we made Rianna stand in the middle of the dance floor as myself and my siblings left and the song We Are Family starts blaring trough the speakers and we encircled Rianna and had ourselves one final Shanley dance with her. But before the song ended we brought Nick, Michelle, and Albert in because our family is more than blood. There were times where I was dancing with Donna, Nick’s mom, or dancing with Nick’s uncles, my Meme even came on the floor and was absolutely shredding. She even took off her shoes at one point. It was glorious to say the least. I just love my incredibly large, unconventional, and dysfunctional family.

But this wedding alone is not why life is so good right now, I mean it was probably the greatest day of my life, but other great things are happening! Award shows!! I am a TV queen personally, so I am more interested in award shows that pertain to my people there but since the Emmy’s happened a few months ago I won’t reference it here only because it’s not exactly pertinent at the moment. And to be fair, with Emma home I have been practically living at the movie theater as there have been some amazing movies out right now. Seriously, Sophia, Shaelin, Emma and myself have maybe spent around $200 at the movies alone this past break. Thinking of the movies we have seen though is absolutely invigorating every sense in my body. I have yet to have been disappointed with all of the major pictures lately. We saw Call Me By Your Name, twice. And to be quite frank, I want to see it a third time before it leaves theaters. Lady Bird which was just honestly life affirming for me. Shape Of Water which had myself, Emma, Sophia and Mike Lynch just dumbfounded by how fabulous it was. I mean the cinematography alone kills me. Then there’s The Post, the fucking Post. Boy oh boy do I love Meryl and Tommy Boy together. Just sitting here remembering these movies is revitalizing me in ways that movies probably shouldn’t but I feel so alive!!!

The Golden Globes happened the day of Rianna’s wedding, which was a bit of a problem for me but I pulled through, so I had to have Emma record the event for me. So I watched that a day later but managed to not look up the show in an effort to avoid spoilers, and I did pretty damn well. I knew major things that happened because a girl is only so strong, but I kept most of the awards a surprise. And baby was it a beautiful show. I mean, the Time’s Up and Me Too movements were the main subjects for the evening and it was glorious. And as we all know and absolutely despise about me, I am for the girls always, a loud and proud feminist and someone so completely stuck in my way, so everything that was going down was heavenly. I wish I could have been there so terribly. It was historic and an absolute testament of strength in numbers and I respect the women in Hollywood who are not letting themselves be quieted. I was a little disappointed that Call Me By Your Name didn’t win anything, although they have been killing it in the non-televised awards so it’s okay I guess. I wanted Lady Bird to have won more also, but what can you do? And besides, the Oscars are coming up so we all know that truths will be revealed there and speak to my true thoughts there. We also have the SAG awards coming up within in these next few weeks so my soul is still hungry but will be satisfied soon enough. I’m unhealthily excited for these shows, so, please steer clear of me if you are frightened by my intensity.

The more I speak on things like this, the more lame I realize I am. But, I wouldn’t want it any other way baby!! I love pretending like these award shows are real to me and affect my life, even if they don’t. I’m a dreamer, okay?! I’ll obviously have to make a second post to follow this one after the other shows because my thoughts are not fully formed as I have not seen it all! Duh. Till next time friends.


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